Coping with Stress During the Holidays
Written By: Dr. Amanda Lefkowitz
The holiday season is often portrayed as the happiest time of year, filled with joy, connection, and celebration. But for many people, particularly those managing mental health conditions, the reality is quite different. The holidays can bring intense stress, triggering symptoms of depression, anxiety, and other mental health challenges. If you're dreading the approaching season rather than looking forward to it, you're not alone. At New Path Psychiatry, we recognize that the holidays present unique challenges, and we're here to help you navigate this time with greater ease and support.
Why the Holidays Are Stressful
The holidays combine multiple stressors in a relatively short period, creating a perfect storm for mental health struggles. Social expectations and obligations multiply, with invitations to parties, family gatherings, work events, and community activities. Each of these comes with its own set of pressures: what to wear, what to bring, how to interact, and how long to stay. For someone managing social anxiety, these demands can feel overwhelming.
Financial pressures intensify during the holiday season. The expectation to buy gifts, host gatherings, travel, and participate in various activities can strain even comfortable budgets. For those already experiencing financial stress, the holidays can amplify worry and create a sense of inadequacy or shame about not being able to meet perceived expectations.
Family dynamics that may be manageable in small doses become concentrated during holiday gatherings. Old conflicts resurface, differences in values or lifestyles become apparent, and the pressure to maintain harmony can feel exhausting. For individuals who have experienced family trauma or have complicated relationships with relatives, holiday gatherings can be triggering rather than comforting.
Perhaps most significantly for those managing mental health conditions, the holidays disrupt the routines that provide stability and structure. Sleep schedules shift, eating patterns change, exercise routines fall away, and the careful balance you've worked to maintain throughout the year can feel suddenly precarious. This disruption, combined with increased demands and decreased self-care time, can exacerbate existing mental health symptoms.
Holiday Stress and Mental Health Conditions
The impact of holiday stress varies depending on what mental health challenges you're managing. For those dealing with depression, the holidays can intensify feelings of sadness, loneliness, or emptiness. The contrast between external expectations of joy and internal feelings of despair can be particularly painful. Shorter days and reduced sunlight during winter holidays can worsen seasonal depression, creating a double burden.
Anxiety often spikes during the holiday season. The multitude of social obligations, the need to make decisions about how to spend limited time and money, and worries about family interactions can all trigger or worsen anxiety symptoms. For individuals with panic disorder, crowded shopping areas or packed gatherings might trigger panic attacks.
Those managing mood disorders like bipolar disorder may find that the holidays disrupt the stability they've carefully maintained. The excitement and stimulation of the season might trigger manic or hypomanic episodes, while the stress and pressure could contribute to depressive episodes. Maintaining mood stability during this time requires extra vigilance and support.
For individuals in recovery from substance use, the holidays present unique challenges. Social gatherings often center around alcohol, creating pressure to drink and making it harder to maintain sobriety. The stress of the season can increase cravings, and old patterns associated with past holiday celebrations may resurface. Having a solid relapse prevention plan is crucial during this time.
People dealing with trauma or PTSD may find that the holidays trigger difficult memories or intensify symptoms. Certain traditions, songs, smells, or family dynamics might activate trauma responses. For those who have experienced loss, the holidays can bring grief to the foreground, making the absence of loved ones feel particularly acute.
Practical Strategies for Managing Holiday Stress
While the holidays bring unique challenges, there are concrete strategies that can help you manage stress and protect your mental health. One of the most powerful tools is learning to set boundaries. This might mean declining some invitations, limiting the time you spend at gatherings, or saying no to requests that would overextend you. Remember that "no" is a complete sentence, and you don't owe everyone an explanation for protecting your well-being.
Managing expectations, both your own and others', is equally important. You don't have to attend every event, give elaborate gifts, or create picture-perfect celebrations. Give yourself permission to do what feels manageable rather than what you think you "should" do. This might mean starting new, simpler traditions that align better with your current needs and resources.
Financial planning can reduce one major source of holiday stress. Set a realistic budget early and stick to it. Remember that thoughtful, modest gifts can be just as meaningful as expensive ones. Consider alternative approaches like gift exchanges that limit spending, homemade gifts, or focusing on experiences rather than material items.
Despite all the disruptions the holidays bring, try to maintain as much of your normal routine as possible. Stick to regular sleep and wake times, even when you're tempted to stay up late or sleep in. Continue your exercise routine, even if you need to modify it to accommodate holiday schedules. Regular medication management becomes even more crucial during stressful times, so don't skip doses or appointments.
Sleep deserves special attention during the holidays. The combination of stress, schedule changes, and often increased alcohol or caffeine consumption can significantly disrupt sleep quality. Prioritize good sleep hygiene: keep your bedroom cool and dark, maintain consistent sleep and wake times, limit screens before bed, and avoid large meals, caffeine, or alcohol close to bedtime.
Physical activity is a powerful stress management tool that often gets neglected during the holidays. Exercise reduces stress hormones, improves mood, and provides time away from holiday pressures. Even a short daily walk can make a significant difference in your stress levels and overall mental health.
Self-Care During the Holidays
Self-care often feels impossible during the holidays when demands are high and time feels scarce. However, it's precisely during these times that self-care becomes most crucial. Give yourself permission to prioritize your well-being, even if others don't understand or approve. Your mental health isn't selfish; it's essential.
Creating new traditions that better serve your needs can be liberating. If large family gatherings are overwhelming, consider hosting a smaller gathering or celebrating in a non-traditional way. If certain traditions trigger difficult memories or emotions, it's okay to skip them or modify them. You might create entirely new rituals that feel more authentic and manageable for where you are now.
Finding moments of peace within the chaos requires intentionality. This might mean taking a few minutes each day for deep breathing, meditation, or simply sitting quietly with a cup of tea. Some people find solace in nature, even a brief walk outside. Others might read, listen to music, or engage in a creative activity. These small islands of calm can help you recharge and maintain perspective.
Connecting with your support system is vital during stressful times. This might include friends who understand your struggles, support groups, online communities, or family members who provide genuine support rather than additional stress. Don't isolate yourself, even when that's what you feel like doing. Reaching out, even in small ways, can provide connection and remind you that you're not alone.
Conclusion
The holidays don't have to be perfect to be meaningful. In fact, accepting that perfection isn't the goal can lift a tremendous burden from your shoulders. It's okay to struggle during this season. It's okay to find the holidays more challenging than joyful. It's okay to prioritize your mental health over others' expectations. These acknowledgments aren't pessimistic; they're realistic and compassionate.
At New Path Psychiatry, we want you to know that you don't have to face holiday stress alone. Whether you need support adjusting your medication management, developing coping strategies, or simply having someone who understands what you're going through, we're here for you. The holidays will pass, and having support in place can help you navigate this season while protecting the stability you've worked so hard to build.
At New Path Psychiatry, we believe that every individual deserves a personalized journey to mental wellness. Whether you’re seeking support through medication management or exploring new avenues of care, our compassionate team is here to help. Take the first step toward finding balance and feeling like yourself again—schedule an appointment with us today.